Of Lug Nuts and Loving Dolts
by GuardedCHAOS
Summary: Full summary in 1st chapter. Forced to get a job, Weiss is thrown into a world completely foreign to her. Luckily there is a lovable brunette haired dolt to help her through the craziness. Will contain a side pairing of Bumblebee but the main pairing is Ruby and Weiss because I am honestly Whiterose trash and think there needs to be more Whiterose stories.
1. Chapter 1

**So guess who had a stroke of creativity while driving north from Laredo, TX on I-35 at 2:30 in the morning? That's where this little gem comes from. Guess it just goes to show that sometimes truckers get REALLY bored out on the road.**

**Full Summary: Threatened with the prospect of being disinherited and kicked out, everyone's favorite heiress if forced to get a job. There's only one problem, the only place that she can find might as well be a world apart from what she's used to. A story filled with hijinks, craziness, and probably a lot of fluff and most certainly some useless gay Weiss. Most of the stuff in this comes from things I've either experienced in my time as a trucker or my exhaustion filled creative ideas at 3 AM while running the roads. **

**Real would AU, and possibly some OOC characters as I may need to make things fit.**

* * *

"You need to get a job."

Six little words, none over 3 syllables. Yet these 6 words would change Weiss Schnee's life. A job? Why would she need a job? Her family was one of the richest families in the country and she was going to one day inherit the company that her grandfather started. She didn't need a job, she had all the money she could ever need.

And yet, here she was. Standing in front of a plainly decorated, one level building that smelled of diesel fuel and heat. Up until this point she hadn't even known that heat could have a smell. 'This is going to suck so bad…' Weiss thought to herself. She searched every search engine she could find, tried job site after site, and even went to door to door and used old family connections. But this was the only place that was currently hiring, so left with no other alternative she set her shoulders back, stood up straight, and marched through the front door.

As soon as she entered, she was hit in the face with the smell of grease and fast food. Directly in front of her lay a long bar with a cash register stand on the end and stools in front of it. Along the walls were booths with benches that were covered in cracked and faded leather that matched the brown interior of the building. She also noticed a sign hanging over a door off to her left past the end of the bar that read "DRIVER'S ONLY". Before she could take her surroundings in anymore, a blonde woman around her age came out of a swinging door behind the bar. "Welcome to the Crescent Rose Truck Stop! What can I get'cha?" asked the woman with a cheerful attitude that Weiss simply could not return.

"Hi, I called yesterday about the job listing you posted?" responded Weiss as politely as she could. No sense in making any comments that would disqualify her from getting the job right away. "Ohhhh, you must be that girl dad mentioned! I'll go tell him you're here!" said the obviously excitable blonde who immediately rushed back through the door so fast it made Weiss' head spin. Standing by herself awkwardly for a moment, Weiss decided she might as well sit down on one of the stools and wait instead of looking even more out of place than usual.

Busying herself with reading a menu that had been left out on the counter, Weiss didn't notice the girl had silently walked up in front of her. "Um, so since my dad is kind of busy at the moment I was asked to come give you an interview for the job" came a high pitched voice that almost startled the white haired girl. Weiss looked up and heard the second six words that would change her life.

"Hi there, my name is Ruby!"

'_Wowza'_


	2. Chapter 2

**So funny thing about this story, I have no clue where I'm truly going with this so like most things I do, I'mma wing it. In all truth, I have some general ideas for this story but I don't have a definite ending to it. So I guess it'll just keep going until you all stop reading it lol. **

**I'll be putting definitions of any terms I use in this story that relate to trucking that I feel maybe not everyone knows at the end of each chapter to make things easier.**

* * *

"You want me to do what now?"

Weiss stared at Ruby like she had lost her mind and grown two heads simultaneously. Having only worked at the Crescent Rose for a couple days, she felt like those words came out of her mouth every single day. Yesterday it was cleaning the bathroom, today it was emptying the outside trash cans. 'Surely,' she thought, 'Ruby can NOT be serious about this.' But the cute giggle and smirk from the brunette told her that Ruby was ALL too serious.

"It has to be done, and it's your day to do it. Don't forget any of them, if they're left full then trash will just end up getting thrown on the ground," Ruby said, turning to walk back into the building and leaving the white haired girl with a look of shock and pleading. Resigning herself to the task at hand, Weiss grabbed the box of trash bags Ruby had left sitting on lid of the first can of the day.

"So…how do I go about emptying you?"

* * *

Several hours later, Weiss slowly shuffled through the front door of the Rose; covered head to toe in garbage and smelling just as bad as she looked. Gathered at the bar was the blonde she met the first day she came in who she later learned was named Yang and was Ruby's half sister, Blake who was the resident chef and tuna enthusiast, Taiyang the owner of the truck stop, and Ruby.

Turning to gawk at Weiss, everyone at the bar choked and let out various noises at the state of the white haired girl's state. "Geez Weiss, did you actually manage to get any IN the dumpster?" joked Yang, trying to hold back her laughter and failing miserably. Weiss wanted to make a snappy comeback but couldn't muster the energy and instead just settled for giving the blonde a sharp glare.

"It's ok Weiss, at the very least I think there's someone around here who still thinks you look cute even in that state," chuckled Blake, casting a quick glance down the bar as Ruby decided the cookie she was eating became very interesting. 'Wait huh? What could she possibly mean by that…' questioned Weiss for a moment. "Enough girls," interrupted Tai who turned to Weiss before saying, "Why don't you go clean up in one of the showers and put on a spare uniform. There should be some in the back."

Weiss thanked the man and shuffled on through the "DRIVER'S ONLY" door to where the showers were located. On her way through, she decided that she would have to question Blake on what she meant later on…

* * *

Finally out of the shower and changed into a new uniform, Weiss joined the rest of the crew out front at the bar. Not a moment after she joined them though, a new truck rolled into the parking lot outside and circled into the fuel island1. Long and black, the truck had tall metal stacks that gleamed int the sunlight and a large square shaped nose and grill. Behind it, the truck pulled a trailer carrying a single tarp covered cylindrical object. Pulling to a stop with a loud his of air, the trucks loud growling engine shut off and the truck shook slightly as the driver stepped down.

"Well Ruby, looks like your favorite guy is here," teased Yang, causing Ruby to groan punch her shoulder. Never the less, when the man walked inside Ruby ran up and flung herself onto the man. "Cowboy!" she yelled and smiled. Dressed in a black button down shirt, blue jeans, dusty boots, and a black cowboy hat the name that Ruby had referred to him as sure fit. The man just chuckled and returned the hug with one arm and replied, "Easy there Red, my old back can't take much of that anymore."

Weiss found herself frowning, though she couldn't really place why. Something about what Yang had said and the way Ruby acted formed a pit in her stomach and she didn't like it. Choosing to ignore the feeling for now, she settled down with the rest of the group as the man also joined them.

* * *

**Sorry about the abrupt ending, I'm running out of time on my wifi at this truck stop lol. **

**So the man mentioned in the story will be a recurring character and as well as a few others I'll be adding. Each will be a stereotype of different areas of the trucking industry. Cowboy is representing my little corner of the industry, Flatbedders. He demonstrates the stereotypes that we all love old Peterbilts and KWs (Guilty), we all own at least one cowboy hat (not guilty as of yet), and other things that you'll see later.**

**Fuel Island: **basically fuel pumps for 18 wheelers. Typically set up in long row for several trucks to pull in at once, there's a main pump on the driver's side where we can activate the pumps and a satellite pump on the passenger side so we can fill our secondary tanks.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry its been so long since I updated this story. Life on the road has been hectic as of late and this is the first real break I've gotten other than the few days I spent in a KW shop in Laredo getting my truck repaired. **

**I'm ashamed of you guys though man. HOW COULD YA'LL LET ME GET AWAY WITH SO MANY ERRORS IN THE LAST CHAPTER?! Lol, rereading it made me shake my head and cringe so bad. Anyways, lets get on with the story.**

* * *

"So there we were, with this guy's trailer wedged underneath a bridge when the officer asks us 'So did ya get your truck stuck'? 'No sir officer, I was delivering this bridge when I ran out of diesel"

The joke earned a laugh from the group sat at the bar. Weiss stood a few feet off cleaning a table while occasionally shooting glances over her shoulder at the rancorous group. Every time she did so, she had to resist the urge to scowl. There was only 5 people but they made enough noise that it sounded like the place was packed to the roof. It didn't help that 2 of the people in the group were SUPPOSED to be helping her. One laugh in particular was annoying her, and it belonged to a certain brunette…

"Wait wait wait, you have to retell the ShamWow story! That one is hilarious!" laughed Ruby, obviously engrossed in the stories Cowboy was telling alongside the other two truckers who had walked in after him. _'ShamWow?_ _Do I even want to know what that is?' _Weiss questioned internally, unable to keep the disgusted look off her face.

"Ah I don't know Red, I tell it every time I come in. I'm sure everyone else is getting tired of it," chuckled Cowboy. Ruby pouted before turning her eyes over to the white-haired girl who was hard at work minding her own business and trying to get the same table clean that she had started on 30 minutes ago. Weiss really didn't like the looks of the wide grin Ruby wore when she looked up and locked eyes with the bubbly girl.

"Weiiiiisssssss! Come over here please!" Ruby hollered out, rushing out around the bar and over to her. Before Weiss even had a chance to respond, she was being dragged back behind the counter-top and came to a stop in front of the group of truck drivers, all of whom exchanged a glance and tried to hide their chuckles behind their food and drinks. "She hasn't heard the story yet! So you gotta retell it!" pleaded Ruby, giving the driver her best puppy dog look.

"Ok, ok. Put those weapons of mass disruption away," chuckled Cowboy while shaking his head, "I swear, you could break into the White House with those eyes of yours girl." Having gotten her way, Ruby immediately perked up and began bouncing in place in a display of obvious excitement. Weiss found herself getting even more disgruntled by the girl's actions and excitement. _'Should she really be getting this excited over something so simple? Surely whatever this…ShamWow is can't be that funny' _Weiss thought to herself.

"So back when I was still a greenhorn rookie, I went down to San Antone1 to pick up a load of Eye to the Sky's3 and Suicide4 coils2." Started Cowboy, "While I was there I met up with a couple of drivers from the same company I worked for and we all started shootin' the shit while we waited to get loaded. Now it being a hot day and all down in Texas, we all were getting a little sweaty standing in the sun so one of the drivers walks over to his rig and returns with this cloth and he's wipin' his head with it. One of the other drivers asked the guy 'Done got too hot and needed a towel there driver?' while we all chuckled. So this old driver shook his head and told the other man 'Hell, this ain't no damn towel!' Now I don't know about you, but this confused the hell out of us cause this looked like a towel to us so being the smartass I am, I asked the old guy 'Well what the hell is it then?' And in the most straight, deadpan voice possible he looks me right in the eye with his head turned while holding the cloth up with one hand out to the side of his face and pointing to it with the other and says….'Shamwow!'"

The story brought laughter to the group and despite herself, Weiss felt herself chuckling along with them. She had to admit; the story had been kinda funny if just a little ridiculous. Before long, the had all regained their composure and went back to talking when Cowboy excused himself out to his truck for a few minutes.

Weiss decided she was gonna get back to work and walked back over to grab her cleaning supplies when she felt a poke on the shoulder. Turning to the source of the contact, she found bright silver eyes staring back at her. "Ya know, I think you've cleaned them enough. Why not go help Blake in the kitchen?" Ruby asked her while jerking a thumb back over her shoulder. Weiss just nodded her head and went to do ask she was requested.

Walking through the swinging door to the kitchen, she found Blake and Yang chuckling about something while Blake was busy flipping burgers on the grill. "Oh, hey there Ice Queen," greeted Yang, smirking at how the white-haired girl bristled at the nickname. Try as she might, Weiss just could not stop getting annoyed with Yang for the constant use of annoying nicknames, but this time she managed to bite back any return insults. Well…. almost. "Et Tu Brute?" Weiss replied with a smirk of her own, causing Yang to let out a hearty chuckle.

"Ignore her Weiss, is there something you needed?" Blake asked, slapping Yang's arm to make the girl stop laughing. "Ruby said I ought to come see if I could help you with anything," Weiss replied, walking over to stand with the two other girls. "Oh…. well I think I have everything handled back here unless you don't mind washing a few dishes in the sink since SOMEONE isn't doing that," Blake said, shooting a sideways glance at her blonde haired companion who looked sheepish. Weiss just nodded and set to work scrubbing the plates and pans in the sink.

After a few minutes of silence, Weiss remembered something she had meant to ask Blake earlier that day. "Hey Blake?" the white-haired girl called out. "Yes?" Blake replied, wiping her hands and stepping over beside Weiss. "What did you mean earlier? When you said that someone still found me cute," Weiss asked, taking a break from what she was doing. Yang and Blake exchanged a look before bursting out into laughter. _'Ok, now I'm REALLY confused' _Weiss thought.

"Wait so you really don't know?" Yang asked, wiping a tear out of her eyes while settling out of her laughing fit, only to break out again once Weiss shook her head in response. After another few minutes of laughter and a few chuckles from Blake, Yang shook her head and replied "Wow, you are really dense."

Before Weiss had a chance to make a comeback, there was a crash of the front doors being thrown open followed by someone shouting. All three girls exchanged a look before rushing out of the kitchen. By now Weiss could hear what the man was shouting. "Where is he? Where's that bastard at? I'm gonna kill you Cowboy!" the angry man proceeded to yell while standing just inside the doorway holding something in his hand.

Coming to a stop behind the bar beside her coworkers, she tried to take in what was happening. Obviously the man was very upset, the other truck drivers were confused, and the aforementioned flatbed driver had his hat pulled down and was taking a drink from his bottle. Turning her attention back to the man who just walked in, she could see he was red in the face and still had his hand raised in the air, shaking around what looked like a….'_Is that a…'_

"Why are you waving around a dildo?"

* * *

**So the joke in the beginning was an old Bill Engvall joke but I needed an opening line and that one just fit lol. The ShamWow joke was actually something that happened to me. Not sure if the joke is gonna translate well to writing but in the moment it was HILARIOUS. **

**Time for some definitions:**

**San Antone:** Short for San Antonio, Texas. Probably doesn't need any explanation for those in the USA but didn't want to confuse any of my other readers not from the US.

**Coils:** Coils are exactly as the name implies. Huge rolls of metal that come in three different forms. Suicide, Shotgun, and Eye to the Sky. They are very heavy, very dangerous, and flatbedders have to haul them quite often. If you see a trailer hauling what looks like a big cylinder of metal, please use extra caution around them. They'll appreciate it.

**Eye to the Sky:** Eye to the Sky coil. This is when a coil is turned on it's side so that the center (or "eye") is facing straight up. This is one of the safer ways to haul coils if they are light enough to justify it.

**Suicide:** Suicide coil. This is a slang term used by truckers based both off the original name of this form and cause of what it can do to a driver who isn't careful. Originally called "Eye to the Side" coils, these coils are places with the center ("eye") of the coil facing the side of the trailer. This is BY FAR the most dangerous way to haul a coil. If it isn't chained properly or there's a big enough wreck, it can roll either straight off the back of a trailer, or more commonly straight through the truck itself. Even a small 12,000 lbs. suicide coil can kill a driver in a heartbeat.


	4. Chapter 4

**Here we go again. I'm writing this on 08/24/19 but since I'm doing a 34-hour reset over the weekend in Lovell, WY I highly doubt it'll get posted till much later. Don't really have a whole lot else to say but I do wanna answer some reviews**.

_**Guest:**_ First off, thank you for reading. Second, yes actually I am. I'm an OTR flatbedder for a rather large flatbed company based out of Oklahoma. I also used to be somewhat of a diesel mechanic when I wasn't towing for the shop I worked at. Spent a lot of time around some of the old-school drivers, which is where I picked up a lot of the old-school trucking slang lol.

_**narusakufan1985:**_ Thanks! I don't plan on ending it anytime soon so long as folks still want to read this lol. Just don't get a lot of time on the road to write since I'm either driving, securing/unsecuring a load, or sleeping lol.

_**AnonReviewer:**_ I'm glad you appreciate them lol. I figured it'd be easier for the folks who don't know much about trucking to have a breakdown of what's being said as opposed to just having to guess. I'm also glad you enjoy the setting. As I said in the first chapter, it was actually inspired both by a small truckstop along one of the major interstates in Texas and the late night thoughts of me driving UP said interstate away from Laredo lol. It's certainly different but I do enjoy breaking the mold a little. Gives the community a bit of contrast to the usual cookie cutter stories that come out. Not that I don't enjoy those as well.

* * *

"Why are you waving around a dildo?"

_'Trust Yang to be the one to ask the question everyone was thinking,'_ thought Weiss. Still, she was curious to the answer as well. "Why?! I'll tell you why! Cause that stupid son of a bitch stuck it to my damn driver's seat and I almost sat down on it!" the angry driver yelled, causing the object of his anger to start snickering under his breath. "And just WHAT the hell are you laughing at asshole?!" the angry trucker called, pointing the dildo at Cowboy's back like a weapon which succeeded in making the object jiggle and wobble around much to Yang's obvious amusement as the girl proceeded to giggle and snort.

"Well driver, I just figured I'd make your seat a little more comfortable for you. You ain't gotta go and get all upset about it. Tell me though, how many times did you sit down before you noticed?" Cowboy responded, spinning around to face the man he'd made so mad. "You son of a…!" the angry trucker started and he made his way for Cowboy who simply stayed on his stool and leaned back against the bar.

"ENOUGH!" a voice sounded from behind the bar. 'Seems like Yang finally decided to end things before they got too bad,' figured Weiss, glad for the interruption. "Both of you, go on and get out. There'll be no fighting here," Yang said, putting her foot down. The angry driver just tisked, flipped Cowboy off, and strode out to his truck. Cowboy chuckled, pulled his wallet out and laid a $20 bill on the counter as he stood up. "Alright, alright, I'm goin'. Thanks for the food and keep the change," he said as he made his way towards the door.

Weiss just shook her head and followed the man out with her eyes. Soon enough all the other drivers made their way out and it was once again empty. With nothing else left to do, Weiss sat down at the bar and pulled out her phone to pass the time. No sooner had she opened it than someone behind her yelled her name excitedly causing her to nearly drop her phone and shriek. Turning around with her chest heaving, she found a smiling Ruby. "Why?!" was all Weiss could bring herself to say, still trying to calm her heart. "Because," was the only answer she received, followed by a tongue sticking out.

'_I wonder what that tongue do?'_

Weiss shook her head, trying to clear the thought out of her mind. Where had that come from? "Weeeeeiiiiiiss, earth to Weiss?" Ruby questioned, shaking her shoulder. "Yes Ruby?" responded the whitehaired girl, trying to keep her blush down as she was still recovering for the unexpected thought. "I just wanted to know what you were doing this weekend!" Ruby stated, practically bouncing on the spot. "This weekend? Well…I supposed just working. Your sister has me on the morning shift," responded Weiss. "Oh, so does that mean you're free Saturday night?" the brunette questioned, seeming even more excited if that were possible.

"Yes, I suppose so," the heiress answered, unsure why exactly the girl was getting so excited over the this conversation. "Weeelllllll, you know the fair is this weekend, would you want to go with me?" asked Ruby. '_The fair?' _wondered Weiss, '_I suppose I could go with her. It'd be nice to relax and go out. Even if it is at something so…common.' _"Sure, I suppose I could accompany my friend to the…fair," Weiss managed to force the last word out with a smile, even as the conjured images of greasy food and throw-up from too fast rides threatened to choke her.

Ruby's happiness seem to diminish a bit but was soon back again as she grinned immediately pulled Weiss into a hug, earning a yelp of surprise from the white haired girl before she took off to the kitchen leaving Weiss by herself up front.

'_Well that was weird_.'

A few days later, Friday night had rolled around and Weiss found herself working the counter of the Crescent Rose by herself with Blake manning the kitchen. Ruby and Yang had the night off as her and Blake had taken the morning off since weekends usually proved to be fairly quiet times.

While cleaning, Weiss was interrupted by the dinging of the bell over the door, signaling that someone had walked in. Turning she was greeted to the sight of a very ragged, very nasty looking Cowboy as he collapsed onto the bar stool and dropped his head into his arms without so much as casting her a glance. Tentatively walking over she started with, "Welcome to the Crescent Rose, what can I get you?"

"The usual please. Oh and go ahead and put a shower on my bill too, I'll be having one as soon as I'm done eating," the man said tiredly, not bothering to look up. "I'm sorry…the usual?" asked Weiss, confused by this. '_What is the usual for him? I've never even taken his order before. It's always Yang that does that!' _Weiss practically screamed internally. Finally looking up, the tired looking driver noticed her and formed a look of realization. "Oh, you're the new girl aren't you? Sorry, I'll have a cheeseburger, only ketchup and mayo with fries and sweet tea please," Cowboy said, giving her a tired smile as he dragged himself up off the bar and leaned back slightly into his stool.

Weiss nodded as she wrote down everything he said and stuck the order into the window for Blake. Turning back, she grabbed a glass and began fixing his drink. "Say, I never caught your name," Cowboy said. "Um...Weiss, Wiess Schnee," replied the whitehaired girl, somewhat surprised by the question. "Ah, well as I'm sure you've noticed I'm something of a regular around her. Most of my loads take me through the area. Folks typically just call me Cowboy. It was my CB handle1 back when that was still a thing," the man chuckled.

"CB handle?" asked Weiss as she passed the drink over to Cowboy. "Yeah, you know, CB. As in a CB radio. A handle is a nickname truckers used to use when talking on it," Cowboy responded. "Why not just use their actual name?" Weiss questioned. "Easy, plausible deniability. Too many smokies2 out there listening in, you didn't want them having any sort of a rap sheet built up on you if they managed to pull you over," smirked Cowboy, "We all used to do some…less than legal things in the sake of getting loads where they needed to go. Heck, one time I stayed up for 4 days straight running bulls from Missouri to California with an old family friend of mine. We'd pull out Friday night and be pulling into the slaughter house driveway on Monday morning."

"But that would mean you'd have to be going way over the speed limit," said Weiss, slightly surprised. "Ohhh yeah, big time. We both ran a set of Large-Cars3. Once we left them trucks would barely come below 80 miles per hour, drop our loads at the slaughter house, then turn and burn on our way back. Got real good at dodging chicken coops4 and we each kept 7 log books5, though none of them were ever up to date," Cowboy laughed, "can't do all that now though with these new ELD's6. Probably for the best though, safer that way I suppose."

Weiss just nodded her head, not even bothering to ask what any of those terms meant. There's no way she'd be able to keep up with all the definitions and she didn't even want to try. Instead, she just grabbed the plate the Blake had set in the window and passed it to the tired trucker. "So uh, why are you so…" Weiss started. "Nasty?" Cowboy finished with a chuckle, "I'm afraid I just had to go pick up a load of sand about an hour ago. Shit gets everywhere and the pits we go to to pick it up are just as nasty as I am right now."

"Wait but I thought you pulled that flat trailer out there?" asked a confused Weiss. "I do. They load the sand in these huge bags that hold like 2 and a half tons each on the trailer and I cover it with a tarp7. Trust me, its just as weird as it sounds," the driver laughed as he started digging into his food.

After a few minutes of silence while Cowboy ate, Weiss decided to ask a question that had been burning her mind for quite a while. "So…are you and Ruby a thing?" asked Weiss, trying to be causal. The response was one that she honestly had not been expecting. Cowboy proceeded to choke on his food and cough, taking a large drink of his sweet tea before slamming the cup back down and yelping out, "Excuse me?!"

"Ya know…like a relationship?" asked Weiss, suddenly feeling very, very awkward and wishing she had never opened her mouth. "Child….let me explain something to you. I am old enough to be the father to nearly everyone in this building. There is not, nor has there EVER been anything between Ruby and I," Cowboy said, very slowly and imploringly, "Why on God's green earth would you ask me something like that?"

"Well, I just saw how happy she got when you come around and how she acts around you so I just assumed…" Weiss said, starting to shrink back in on herself. "Weiss, let me assure you that that girl would never be interested in someone like me, even if I was her age. TRUST me on that one," Cowboy said, finally recovering from the shock he had received. "What do you mean?" Weiss asked, unsure what exactly he was getting at. "If you don't know, it isn't my right to tell you. You'd just have to ask her yourself," the driver stated, standing up, "If you don't mind, I'm gonna get the rest of this to go. It's high time I go get a shower."

Weiss nodded and began getting a to-go container from under the counter as Cowboy dug out another $20 out of his wallet and laid it down. "Well Weiss it's been good and it's been fun but I'm afraid after this shower I'm turning in for the night so this is the last you'll see of me for tonight. Just uh, in the future please try not to scare an old trucker like that ok? Ain't good for my health, " Cowboy laughed as he collected his food and made his way to the "DRIVER'S ONLY" door.

* * *

**So I reckon I'll end it here for now. Combined several thoughts I've had for the story into one long chapter to hopefully make up for all the time it takes between updates. The Dildo story is based off a prank I pulled a long while back when I first got my truck with the company I work for. Had to update it to fit with the setting and spice it up a bit obviously though. The story about running cattle from Missouri to California is actually one the guy who was an instructor at the school I went to for my CDL used to tell. Also, I through the sand part in last minute because well, I wanted an excuse as to why he'd walk in so dirty and I couldn't really find a load that came to mind where a driver would get really dirty in addition to the usual tiredness and sweatiness. Then low and behold my DM sends me the load that I'm currently sitting in Lovell waiting to get. What is that, you may ask? You guessed it, it's sand bags. Fucking sand bags. **

**Now for some definitions:**

**CB Handle: ** Already explained in the chapter.

**Smokies (Smokey): ** Short for Smokey Bear. Police officers. There are bunches of different kinds from your country Mountie to your Full Grown Bear, to you Bear in the Air. All of the names essentially mean some form of police officer.

**Large Cars:** Typically used to describe the older Caterpillar engine powered Peterbilt 379's but also can describe the older Cat powered Kenworth W900's of the same generation. These trucks were known for their ability to go triple digits up and down hills with not much slowing them down. Typically had either the 3406, 6NZ, C-15, or C-16 Cat Engines in them. Also, probably my favorite trucks lol.

**Chicken Coops:** Weigh Scales/Weigh Stations. Trucks have to slow down to go through these and get weighed to make sure they're legal. You can also be inspected while pulling through them. So even when you're perfectly legal, it's a major tax on a trucker's time. That's why it used to be a major occurrence for truckers to avoid these scale houses whenever possible. Not really done now with new regulations and the advent of Pre-Pass and Drivewyze and other aids that allow trucks who are legal to by-pass the scales most of the time.

**Log Books:** Paper logs. Truckers are governed by Hours of Service which tell us how long we can drive for. Unless they're bull-haulers or have an old enough truck(two of the very few ways to be exempt from the ELD rules), truckers can only be on-duty for 14 consecutive hours a day and can only driver for 11 of those hours, though the 11 hours don't have to be consecutive. Also, a trucker must stop for a 30 minute break every 8 hours they are on duty. Back when paper logs were used, truckers would sometimes falsify them. This carries a heavy fine but back then, most drivers didn't have much of a choice if they wanted to get where they were going on time.

**ELD's:** Electronic Logging Devices. On-board computers that keep track of a driver's HoS logs and other things. Now Mandatory on most trucks new enough for them to be integrated.

**Tarp:** Easy one, tarps/tarping is a flatbedding term used to describe the act of and the objects used to cover a load. Tarps are large sheets of thick polyurethane material that have D-rings on them and typically the company's logo and colors. They are fairly heavy and one of the things that give flatbedders a certain amount of respect over box-van drivers. For instance, the tarps on my truck weigh 100 pounds each. Doesn't sound like a lot until you have to carry them on your shoulder up a ladder.


End file.
